i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
