Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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