She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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