Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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