Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
