Apparently you make a good broom.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
