he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
