This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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