i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
