oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
