im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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