i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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