I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
