i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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