so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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