Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
