Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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