In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
