just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
