Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I could fuck to npr.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
