he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
