Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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