is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
