susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
