windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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