it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
