im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
