I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
