don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize