im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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