im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
