Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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