Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
