I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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