Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
