we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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