yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
