just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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