She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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