Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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