What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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