worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
