Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
