"it" just moved
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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