no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
