You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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