I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
