things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
