i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
