Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We're too hungover to prance.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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