Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
