Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize