It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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