He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
