Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
