i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
