Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize