i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
