i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
