How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
