you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
A+ Viking dick
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
