The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
my liver is dry heaving
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
