would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
