I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
