I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
